Going Goat
by intern dana
Summary: It wasn't a particularly memorable day, other than the fact that everything seemed to be going to hell.
1. This is where the day begins

This is where the day starts.

It wasn't a particularly memorable day, other than the fact that everything seemed to be going to hell.

It started a normal day, a crisp day break, steam rising from the streets as they are wont to do in the late spring. Jazz had gotten up early to continue working on what she swore would be her definitive college entry thesis (it seemed she wrote a new one every week.) Maddie woke up to prepare early pancakes and ectosamples, (cross contamination, a seeming non-issue.) Finally, Jack and Danny slept on, as was typical to a weekend morning, the former snoring magnificently and the latter running a small fever (which had started as a mild throat-head-stomach ache the day before.)

It wasn't until the 10 am Fenton Family Weekend alarm went off that Danny awoke in a cold-induced haze, a legendary stuffed nose, and a bleary outlook on life that the 'helluva day' the day promised started. Frankly the warning signs were all there, but such is the fate of those doomed to embarrassment.

Danny ate his slightly-glowing pancakes, dressed in slightly sweaty clothes and was out the door before anyone could remark on how pasty he looked, how unfocussed he seemed, or, most importantly, how he responded to various greetings with a stuffy and generally alarming "Goob Morbin."


	2. This is where the story starts

This is where the story starts.

Danny met Tucker and Sam outside of the mall. The Saturday they had planned that week, was to be spent in the movie theatre watching Dead Teacher X then maybe some trawling the mall for inspiration on what to do next. As he has so greeted his family that morning, Danny repeated the sentiment to his friends, "Goob morbin."

Sam fixed a deadpan stare at him, judgement without comment. Tucker, with all his tact and without missing a beat immediately responded, "Danny, you look terrible, go home."

"Nahh, I'm goob guys. I peel pine." It was a lie but the friends decided that in this case, the matinee prices of Dead Teacher X was just a bit more important than instilling a healthy respect of bacteria in their tried'n'true stubborn halfa of a friend. The matter dropped the trio bought their tickets and went into the cinema. If there was a buffer seat between the sniffling Danny and his friends it was left unmentioned.

It happened during the romantic climax of the movie, (a controversial and contested new subplot to the Dead Teacher series.) Danny felt a cold start within him and crawl slowly but perceptibly up his throat to materialize in a gasp as a will of the wisp. A ghost was nearby.


	3. This is where the embarrassment starts

This is where the embarrassment starts.

Danny, by now used to ghostly incursions into his life, knew promptly what to do: adjourning to an unwatched alley was imminent. Sam and Tucker, by now used to Danny's ghostly incursions also knew what to do: follow Danny and try to help in anyway that they could. The triumvirate of friends, Dead Teacher X forgotten, left the theatre to find a convenient cul-de-sac of an alleyway. It seemed at times that Amity Park was simply a delightful collection of convenient corners, cul-de-sacs, and generally devoid of CCTV.

When Danny got to the alley, an action not accomplished without a small amount of bumping into corners, people, and inanimate objects (a testament to Danny's state of mind,) his ghost sense was assaulted by a familiar prescence. It was if he was not mistaken…

"Ghost child! I am here for your pelt!" ("Eww")

…Skulker.

"I don't tink so Skulber!" Danny quickly responded. He may be sick (not that he would admit it,) but damn it, he would vocally rise to occasion if it was the last thing he did.

And then he said it. The words. The words that unleashed the 'helluva day' that the day was. "I'B GOIN' GOAT"


	4. This is where the hilarity begins

This is where the hilarity starts.

White rings surrounded Danny Fenton. They split at his waist, one going up, the other down, and Danny Fenton was transformed in a flash of light.

All witnessing the change despite all having witnessed it many times before closed their eyes in response to the brightness of a split-second that always transpired. When they opened their eyes what they saw before them was not the Danny Phantom, protector of Amity park and champion of the living. In front of them they saw…

A goat. Maker of annoying noises and champion-eater of absolutely anything you could possibly think of to feed to a living creature. Danny had somehow managed to transform himself into a damn goat.

"Pfffttt…ahahahahHAHAHAHAHA!" It was too much. Skulker had doubled over on himself laughing uproariously. Sam had hidden a smile behind a hand and even Tucker, who was trying his hardest to look horrified, still couldn't stop the choke he used to force his bewilderment down.

While the onlookers were trying to control themselves Danny found a stray Burrito Boat wrapper and had begun snacking.

Skulker, in what seemed a moment of pity for the child, finally spoke up. "Ghost…No, GOAT-boy, I wish to take your pelt, but this, this is not a prize, this is a..." and there he trailed off, unable to come up with words for what it truly was.

Danny moved on from the Burrito Boat Wrapper to a upturned yogurt carton.

"A GOAT? A goat is not worthy of my skills..." Skulker continued. He really didn't know how to respond to this type of situation. "This is a catastrophe!"

"Don't you mean a goat-astrophe?" Tucker interjected. He really couldn't help it.

"Tucker!" Sam started but the damage was done. Skulker's head whipped around remembering the friends were there.

Danny finished the yogurt carton and had fixed his attention on a particularly delicious looking cardboard box. (Somewhere, the box ghost felt a shiver come upon him.)

"Whelps!" Skulker said, "get this…boy…home. I will continue this when it less of an embarrassment to me." He seemed genuinely embarrassed, as if Danny turning into a goat was a particularly mean prank to play. "He is of no use to me NOW. Maybe he will recover with sleep..." With his dismayed yet ominously hopeful remark, he disappeared.

The friends looked at each other, then at Danny, who had abandoned the box to chew on Tuckers shoelace. "You should tie that" Sam said.

Without knowing what else to do, Sam and Tucker left Danny in his backyard snacking on a tuna can he picked up from who-knows-where.


	5. This is the fallout

This is the fallout.

Danny, tiring of his tuna can fell asleep and would wake up hours later, once again a human with only a vague recollection of feeling ambivalent about Dead Teacher X, generally unconcerned with the world, and with a rather strange collection of tastes in his mouth.

When asked about the day, Tucker and Sam would avert their eyes, gain a far away look and just repeat, "It was goat- I mean good. It was good." Then they would cough and turn away as if to suppress a smile.

The next time Danny fought Skulker, the robotic ghast would only refer to him as "Goat Boy" which annoyed Danny to no end for reasons unknown. Skulker was soon captured in the Fenton thermos; Danny did not like the smug looks and smirking the hunter had seemed to adopt.

It wasn't a particularly memorable day, except for the fact that it was.

(Not that Danny would remember it.)


	6. This is an authors note

This is an authors note.

Hi there!

So I've always wanted to use the chapters system on FF, but alas I'm a serial one-shotter. While this story could be posted as a one shot I felt like it could be told in chapters, much like comedic beats. So heres a bit of my whimsicality. Hope it worked out, the chapters are small but the heart is there!

I've also always joked of writing this story. Playing on words are a huge part of my humor and it seems that finally the stars aligned (more like a bottle of chardonnay aligned with my mouth,) and I finally got around to writing this joke of a story.

I hope you enjoyed it! I wrote it in an evening but its been stewing in my brain for at least a year. Ive always wanted to contribute to the DP phandom, here you dorks go!

Love

Intern Dana


End file.
